"The idea of heaven used to terrify me. Infinity. The thing that bugs me about reincarnation is that everyone was Charles II or a Russian princess or something. Wasn't anyone a plumber? They always say they were in the crusades with me or some shit. I'm always tempted to write back and say, Actually, my past life was much more prosaic than yours. I was a doorknob in Versailles and before that I was a louse in Rasputin's beard."